When Life Feels Heavy

Do you feel like you have lost the sweetness of life? Well, you are not alone. 

Recently, living for some of us feels like a chore. Completing small tasks or just getting things done for most has been almost unachievable. Let alone the energy to take care of oneself. ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE! 

How do we navigate our desire to live in such uncertain times?

Yes, it has gotten that dark. You know how we sometimes get addicted to toxic things like trauma, depression, abusive partners, failing friendships or overuse of drugs and alcohol.

 But there’s somehow contentment in the darkness. 

 That darkness became my sacred home where I felt a sense of belonging. Though it is hard to put into words. In simple terms, being in the dark made me feel good, it became my comfort zone.

 Self-care is hard, but it is necessary to release that discomfort that 's weighing you down. If this is  your current condition, I feel you and honor your effort in taking the first step.

"If you wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down," - Toni Morrison

We deal with a lot on a daily basis. Sometimes being still enough to see what’s ahead feels extraneous yet necessary for our well-being. 

Life is worth living was one of the notations that helped me see that pain has beautiful aspects at the end of its thread. The challenge is to get to the end of the thread in one piece - whole. Or just maybe using the whole self, perhaps identifying the struggles, hurt and darkness is the best way to arrive. In short, living everyday with a heavy heart is overwhelming for the heart and the head. When I got to the point of being sick and tired of sadness and darkness I realized that growth happens in dark spaces, it's time to bloom. The most amazing things grow in the dark, even in shady places. Let’s think about it sense, outgrowing what weighs you down is the only way up. Remember you don’t have to do it alone.

Yes, it sounds easier said than done which is why making a daily commitment to taking care of yourself is essential.

 When life feels heavy… here’s what you can do

Nobody knows you better than you. So,the first step to healing is being patient with the process. Try different methods and slowly you will discover what works for you…

Understand whatever is weighing you down from both objective and subjective point of view.

BE STILL : be present enough to thoroughly feel and understand whatever is weighing you down. Yes it is not easy, but only you can do the work! Feel and then simply let go. One of the ways to fulfil this is through Mindfulness. It is easy to be overrun by thoughts, hence just by being simply quiet and hush can help you understand the root of it all. 

To support you through your journey of wellness, we offer a range of Free sessions reflecting the spirit of Mindfulness. We believe in helping our communities heal and live peaceful lives which is why we would like to have you onboard. The calendar to our weekly classes can be accessed here.

When life feels heavy, feel the heaviness then fly because you deserve to see the comics.

 

 



 

 



Drinking These Fruit Juices is Just as Bad, or Even Worse than Drinking Soda

Conventional mindset has always been that drinking pure fruit juice is healthy. We purchase fruit juice smoothies in the store, thinking that will help our health and weight loss, and start our days with a large glass of OJ—for the vitamin C. We ‘juice’ vegetables and fruit for the perfect healthy drink. We think we are giving our kids a healthy alternative by letting them drink box after box of “pure fruit juice”. It’s pure fruit juice, so it’s good for us, right?

Juice, whether it is store bought (the worst), or freshly made at home seems to be a healthy choice. But, contrary to popular thinking, juice, purchased from the store, is not far from a drink made of pure liquid sugar. And in truth, it’s not much better than drinking a soda. So, in spite of the fact that you or your children may be drinking a drink that says “100% pure fruit juice”, it may as well say “pure sugar”. So though you may have thought you were making a healthier choice over sodas or other processed drinks with added sugar, you may be drinking something equally as bad.

The sugar that comes from fruit is fructose. Same as the sugar in high fructose corn syrup. Fructose is not a healthy sweetener, in spite of its natural source. Fructose, unless it is wrapped up in a whole fruit, is bad news for your body and your waistline. Fructose is a non-essential dietary sugar. Fructose is actually known to be a strong contributor to obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and high triglycerides and LDL cholesterol. Additionally, it is thought that fructose has some very definite and sinister ties to cancer. And while it’s okay in fruit, because you are not get large, concentrated quantities of it, drinking in tons of fructose in the form of fruit juice will lead you down a path of poor health.

When you drink a glass of juice, let’s say, for example, a 12 oz glass of orange juice, you hit your system with a whopping 37 grams of sugar in the form of mostly fructose. And when you have a 12oz glass of apple juice, you are gulping down an astronomical 40g of sugar! That’s as much as a can of soda! But wait, that’s not the worst of it—a similar sized glass of grape juice–white or red–contains almost 60g of sugar! That’s like having a can and a half of soda!

Drinking a mixed juice ‘cocktail’ is no better, even if it only contains pure fruit juice. Most often concentrated white grape juice, or apple juice is added for sweetness. That adds even more sugar to the mix! Check out the sugar grams in Tropicana Berry Punch, or Ocean Spray 100% Cranberry Juice. It’s a massive amount of sugar! And don’t be mistaken into thinking the calories and the sugar grams, are worth the vitamins, they are not. There is little vitamin C, antioxidants of anything else of benefit in bottle fruit juice.

One of the biggest problems here is that fruit juice contains NO fiber and is a very concentrated source of liquid sugar—the worst kind. It is extremely easy to consume massive amounts of sugar from juice in a very short time. Fructose gets sent straightaway to the liver for processing and some of it is quickly turned into fat cells. Some of the sugar just goes right into your bloodstream and causes insulin to be released—which stores fat cells. The perfect recipe for quick weight gain.

A lot of those new fat cells are stored in the liver, creating a fast track to fatty liver disease. The rest of those fat cells turn into triglycerides, one of the precursors for heart disease, and due to the release of insulin, many of these fat cells are quickly stored in various parts of the body—i.e., bellyfat, hips, thighs, etc. This particular study shows that just one glass of grape juice a day caused insulin resistance and increased waist size in just three months. Not only that, but 2 servings of juice a day also doubles your chance for developing painful gout.

And the biggest problem with liquid calories is that you still continue to eat as much or more. They just don’t make you feel full—on the contrary, juice just makes you want to eat more, making sugary drinks like juice is one of the most fattening things you can put in your body. Drink juice, eat more.

This study in children showed that the risk of obesity was increased by 60% for each daily serving of sugar-sweetened beverages. And you are not doing your kids any favors by allowing them to drink juice to their heart’s content. It does the same thing as a sugar-sweetened beverage. If you want to reduce the chances that your child will be obese or develop type 2 diabetes, eliminate the juice drinks, according to this study, and this study. One of the growing problems in the U.S. and other countries is the high rate of childhood obesity, and one of the biggest contributors to this is sweet drinks such as juice and soda. Kids don’t need to be sucking down a box of juice every time they are thirsty, water works fine!

Let’s chat a bit about how most juice is made. It doesn’t get squeezed or pressed straight from the farm into a carton, let me tell you. Most processed juice—even 100% juice–that you buy in a store, undergoes a very UNnatural process to get from the fruit to your glass, and it’s not really even 100% pure juice. As an example, orange juice is picked from the orchards, the juice extracted out, heated and pasteurized, and then stored in gigantic vats, where the oxygen is removed so it can be stored for up to a year or more.

Removing the oxygen removes a lot of the flavor, so big juice companies hire flavor and fragrance people to formulate “flavor packs” that make the orange juice taste like oranges again. That is why big juice companies like Tropicana and Minute Maid, always taste exactly the same. It is because of a flavor pack added to some virtually tasteless liquid that has been sitting in a huge tank somewhere. Yummy. These flavor packs are made from orange byproducts, although they are chemically altered and those in the juice industry will even tell you the flavor packs don’t resemble anything in nature.

Other juices are no healthier. If they are bottled and sold in a store, they are all heated and pasteurized to kill off bacteria, yeasts, and other pathogens, thus reducing the beneficial antioxidants, enzymes, and other healthy compounds. Then the fiber is removed as well, which further degrades the juice. Fiber slows the absorption of the sugar in the fruit, as well as containing healthy fiber to feed your gut bacteria.

Even if you think you can buy ‘healthy’ fruit juice smoothies, they are still very high in sugar, and heated and pasteurized so they can be bottled. They lose most all their antioxidants and vitamins from the pasteurization process, along with just the amount of time they sit on a store shelf. They usually add ‘filler’ high sugar juices like apple juice and grape juice to make them taste better. Most often, even if it is labeled as a smoothie, it may be more fruit juice (read “high sugar”) than actual whole fruit and fiber. So basically, you get a lot of sugar and a little flavor and not much more in a so-called ‘healthy’ smoothie you buy from the store.

All in all, if you are thirsty, or your kids are thirsty, drink water. You can make your own flavored waters by using spring water, chopping up an orange or dropping in a few raspberries, or even slicing up a cucumber to give the water some added flavor. Try adding a squeeze of a real orange slice to your sparkling water or even a lemon or lime wedge.

And if you just can’t do without lots of flavor, try drinking kombucha tea. This fermented tea is reasonably low in sugar (about 1/8th the amount of sugar of juice), but full of gut-healing probiotics, cancer-fighting compounds, and a good dose of healthy phytochemicals.

Kombucha is gaining in popularity, so most stores sell lots of different flavors to suit every taste. Just watch the sugar content, because while most of the sugar in these drinks has been gobbled up by the fermentation process, some could still have some added sugar.  However, most brands seem to have anywhere from 2 grams to 8 grams of sugar in 1 cup of kombucha, which makes it very low in sugar compared to a glass of juice or soda.

In the long run, you may be shocked at how many sugar calories you and your kids may have been drinking. You and your kids will be far better off if you steer clear of the juices and sugary drinks.

The popularity of kombucha is growing very fast, and it’s not uncommon to find kombucha even at many corner stores and gas stations these days.

Here is another article that I recently wrote which reveals the 7 major health benefits of drinking kombucha (including weight loss, gut health, and more)

If you’re active, sweat a lot, or following a low-carb or Keto diet, or even intermittent fasting, then you’re most likely low on electrolytes, but it’s very important you do NOT turn to drinks like Gatorade or any of the other junk “hydration” drinks that are loaded with sugar, artificial sweeteners & colors and poor quality salt.

Something I’ve been drinking for a while is LMNT and it’s incredible. There’s no sugar, no artificial ingredients, no coloring, and just flat out no JUNK and it’s just the right amount of electrolytes which are key to relieving headaches, fatigue, cramps (and can even help if you’ve had a bit too much alcohol!)…

LMNT is used by three Navy SEAL teams as prescribed by their master chief, 10+ NFL and NBA teams, and is the Official Hydration Partner of Team USA Weightlifting. My favorite flavor is Citrus Salt, which, as a side note, you can use to make a kick-ass, no-sugar margarita.

By: Cat Ebeling

A psychotherapist says the most mentally strong kids always do these 7 things—and how parents can teach them

As a psychotherapist, one of the most common questions parents ask me is: What are the key strengths I should be teaching my kids?

There are several, but the type that will really help them become their best selves and get through life’s toughest challenges is mental strength.

Mental strength requires you to pay attention to three things: the way you think, feel and act. Thinking big, feeling good and acting brave helps us grow our mental muscles. Of course, it takes practice, patience and constant reinforcement to get to a point where you’ll do these things naturally.

But I’ve seen many young people successfully achieve it over time. Here are seven things mentally strong kids always do, and how to help your kids get there if they haven’t already:

1. They empower themselves

If your kid says, “My friend got a higher score on the quiz, which makes me feel bad about myself,” they’re essentially giving someone else power over their emotions.

But kids who feel empowered don’t depend on other people to feel good. They choose, for example, to be in a bright mood even when someone else is having a bad day or tries to take their anger out on them.

Create catchphrases: Work with your kid to come up with phrases that they can repeat to themselves. Use words that show they are in charge of how they think, feel and behave — regardless of how those around them are doing.

This will help drown out the negative voices in their head that try to convince them they lack the potential to succeed. The most effective catchphrases are short and easy to remember:

  • “All I can do is try my best.”

  • “Act confident.”

  • “I’m good enough.”

  • “I choose to be happy today.”

2. They adapt to change

Whether it’s moving to a new school or not being able to play with friends during the pandemic, change is tough. Your kid might miss the way things used to be or worry that what’s happening might make their life worse.

But mentally strong kids understand that change can help them grow into an even stronger person, even though it might not feel that way at first.

Name your emotions: Change feels uncomfortable. But just putting a name to your feelings can lessen the sting of these emotions.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t spend enough time thinking about how we feel. In fact, even as adults, we tend to put more energy into fighting our emotions.

So when your kid is faced with a major change, have them talk elaborately about how they’re feeling. More importantly, help them find — and define — the right words to describe it (e.g., sad, happy, frustrated, nervous, eager).

3. They know when to say no

Everyone struggles to speak up, say no, or express their feelings once in a while. But depending on the situation, choosing not to say yes makes you stronger.

Kids often struggle to say no because it can feel awkward and weird. By finding the courage to do it more often, however, they’ll find that it gets easier over time. It also reduces the stress of having to commit to things they don’t want to do.

Try the “give up” test: When your kid is faced with a decision to say yes or no, ask them what they will have to give up if they say yes. For example, saying yes to a playdate at a friend’s house might mean giving up time spent with siblings.

Ask them: “Are you willing to give that thing up?” If they decide they don’t want to, then say no. If they decide they don’t mind, then they can go ahead and say yes.

Help them find the courage to say no by coming up with polite ways to turn someone down:

  • “No, I’m not able to.” (You don’t always need to offer a reason.)

  • “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I’ve got other plans.”

  • “I’ll have to check and get back to you.” (Use this if they need some time to think about it.)

  • “I don’t really feel like doing that today, but I appreciate you asking.”

4. They own their mistakes

Kids are often tempted to hide their mistakes because they don’t want to get in trouble. Maybe they forgot to do their homework or accidentally broke an expensive vase.

Owning your mistakes helps you build character. Kids who are brave enough to practice this recognize what they did wrong, and mentally prepare themselves to fully admit to what they did.

They also apologize and find ways to avoid making the same mistake again.

Create an environment for success: If your kid is disorganized, they probably have a hard time remembering all their assignments. Or if their room is filled with tons of treats, they might not be able to resist eating too much sugar.

When your kid makes a mistake, remind them that they can change their environment in a way that will prevent them from making the same mistake twice.

For example, they can write down assignments as soon as they receive them, or remove all unhealthy snacks so they’re not within easy reach.

5. They celebrate other people’s successes

It’s normal for kids to feel jealous when their friends get a new toy, for example, or when the other team wins another game.

But feeling negatively towards other people only hurts them, and not the other party. Encourage your kid to cheer people on when they do a good job.

Mentally strong kids are supportive of their peers, and they focus on performing their best without worrying about how everyone else is doing.

Act like the person you want to be: Have your kid come up with a list of traits they admire. Maybe they want to be more confident like their sister, or optimistic like their teacher. Encourage them to act as if they already possess those traits.

This doesn’t mean they should be someone they’re not. It simply means putting their best foot forward. When we feel good about ourselves, it’s easier to celebrate other people’s successes.

6. They fail ... and try again

Failure hurts — it can feel embarrassing, disappointing and frustrating. But the most accomplished people reached their goals by failing along the way.

Kids who do well later in life focus their attention on what went wrong and how they could fix it. They have growth mindsets that help them turn failures into positive learning experiences.

Remember successful people who failed: Experts have found that kids actually perform better when they learn that many success stories began with failure.

The next time your kid feels down because they feel they’ve failed at something, educate them about people who made similar mistakes, like Thomas Edison. Edison helped invent the lightbulb, in addition to many other great things. But he also had more than 1,000 inventions that didn’t work.

This will give your kid confidence, and they’ll know that one poor grade, for example, doesn’t mean they’re bad at science.

7. They persist

When it takes a while to reach a goal, or when you don’t feel like putting in the hard work to succeed, your brain might try to convince you to give up.

Mentally strong kids who persist will continue to work hard even when they don’t feel like it. Often, they eventually succeed and discover that they’re stronger than they initially thought.

Write a letter: Have your kid write a letter — filled with words of kindness and encouragement — to themselves.

It can be a long note, or a short and simple one that says: “I know things are tough, but you can do this because you’ve achieved challenging goals before. And you can do it again.”

Each time they feel tempted to give up, tell them to go back to that letter. It will motivate them to push forward and persist.


By Amy Morin